I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
