your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
