I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
