When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
im on a boat
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