It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
