Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
i think my cat just said my name.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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