fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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