Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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