because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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