drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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