is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
