Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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