and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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