I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
