dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
