She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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