Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
