Non-Jews are for practice
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
