My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
