I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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