He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
