At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
