The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
