hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
