is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He did a backflip because drugs
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
