I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
