I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
