I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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