Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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