trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
we're making bets on your personal life
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
