I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
