just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
