Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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