i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
