you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
