My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
