recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
