Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
