Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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