doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
