I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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