I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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