are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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