So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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