i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize