how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
