I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize
