haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
