i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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