The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
