2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
