I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
