Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
