conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize