Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
