idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Randomize
