I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
