Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
