***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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