So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
