I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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