Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Randomize
