Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
