Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I would ride that face into the sunset
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
