Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
