There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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